Funny Stories in the Stogie World
The case of the person who liked his premium cigar too much. Is such a thing true? Well, if it comes to a mug shots being taken, the answer’s yes. We all like to save money on our cigars now and then, which is why it’s particularly vital to have a discount premium cigar store saved to your “Favorites” list on your web browser. But when you’re purloining boxes of backwoods cigars from your local gas station, you’re not a cigar lover-you’re simply a thief.
Newspapers report that precisely this eventuality unfolded latterly near Palm Beach, Florida, where a person wearing a black ski mask (as in the movies ) stole a local Citgo at gunpoint. He took off with all the cash in the register-and one cigar box. Nothing else. No candies, condoms or air fresheners; no auto parts, mags, or food. This fellow must have known precisely what he was after. Points towards him for the depth and degree of his cigar appreciation, but not for his way of showing it.
An analogous event was recently reported in Rosenberg, Texas. This case involved a seventeen-year-old man robbing 80 dollars’ worth of smokes from a local Shamrock station. Hopefully this young man’s parents can straighten him out and at least this theft did not involve holding anyone at gunpoint. The same applies for a Howell, New Jersey incident in which 4 men, ages twenty-one, 34, thirty-five, and thirty six, avoided the gas station entirely and went straight for a cigar store. (Age, apparently, doesn’t bring knowledge.)
Reports are misleading concerning whether a 4th similar theft, this one happening in Youngstown, Ohio, involved the threat of attack with a lethal weapon; in this situation, a pair of men with their hands in their pockets (as if carrying guns) stole a local Speedway, making off with 55 smokes of a brand that I won’t name, except to assert that it wasn’t precisely a premium brand.
If only all of these people had known that many hand-rolled cigars are also available at a discount via the web. Ordering your favorite cigars online is a much better deal than having to come up with $50,000 greenbacks in bail each, which is the bail set by Howell, New Jersey, cops for the 4 men involved in the cigar store robbery, who were apprehended and charged before the robbery could become a reality.
